Det kvinner vil ha
Posted by Adrenalynn on juni 24, 2009
For mange menn er kvinner et mysterium. Men frykt ikke! Min vidstrakte kunnskap stilles herved til deres disposisjon. Så vær så snill, hjelp meg å hjelpe deg.
Jeg tar herved på meg å informere massene ved å avkrefte de følgende mytene om kvinner:
1. Vi vil ha en mann som ikke er redd for å gråte.
Usant. Det siste vi vil ha er en sutrekopp som ikke kan slutte å syte. Vi har nok med våre egne hormoner og følelser, takkskalduha; det vi trenger er en mann som er røff nok til å være et mannfolk og fikse sine egne problemer.
2. Kvinner tar på sminke og pene klær for å pynte seg for menn.
Usant. Vi vil se bedre ut enn de andre jentene sånn at de blir sjalu. Vi vet at dere mannfolk bare ser på brystkassen vår uansett – det er da ingen grunn til å bruke timevis på å sminke seg i ansiktet for det!
3. Vi er alle feminister som vil tråkke på dere dumme tapere av noen mannfolk for å nå toppen.
Usant. Noen av oss er det, forresten. Men egentlig vil vi bare bli respektert *snufs*. Og dere kvinner som tråkker på andre? Ikke en særlig bra metode for å oppnå respekt. Bare nevner det.
4. Vi vil at våre menn skal være rene og velstelte.
Usant. Klart, det er hyggelig om du gidder å dusje før du treffer mamma for første gang, men det finnes ingenting hottere enn en mann som ser ut som om han har vært utendørs og hugget ved i den siste timen. Og som lukter sånn også.
5. Vi kan bli forstått hvis man bare investerer nok tid og krefter.
Usant. Vi forstår ikke engang oss selv! Det er ingenting, absolutt ingenting du kan gjøre for å lære å forstå oss. Bare gi opp og spill heller med på vår uberegnelige adferd, og alle blir fornøyde.
6. Vi vil at sex skal vare i timevis.
Usant. Tydeligvis er ti minutter omtrent alt vi gidder å bry oss med. Det er til og med bevist av en studie. Så, der.
7. Vi vil være selvstendige og “gjøre det selv”.
Usant. Jeg mener, vi kunne hvis vi ville. Men vi er altfor late, så vi foretrekker om dere bare gjør det. Hvor “det” betyr omtrent all type arbeid som inkluderer men ikke avgrenses til: biler, datamaskiner, elektriske apparater, verktøy og tunge løft.
8. Vi vil bare ha en snill fyr.
Usant. Det er en grunn til at enhver jente har vært forelsket i minst en slem gutt i sitt liv. Det finnes ingenting verre enn en tøffelhelt. Så skjerp deg og finn den slemme gutten i deg!
Der har dere det! Gå nå ut i verden, vær fruktbare og bli mange (i ti-minutts intervaller)!
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Dave Fowler said,
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I feel that I now have permission to be myself. Now where’s my chopper, I need some wood.
Lance said,
I love it! Now…I’m off to chop down that tree. And when I’m all done with that, I should have about 15 minutes left before I have to head out the door…time to get to it, I only have five minutes to spare!! I’m outta here…
Lance´s last blog ..Sunday Thought For The Day
Tara@Sticky fingers said,
You are so very very wise Adrenalyn.
“but there’s nothing hotter than a man who looks like he’s been outdoors chopping wood for the past hour. And smells like it, too” – and if that man is Hugh Jackman . . .
Oh dear, have come over all peculiar
Tara@Sticky fingers´s last blog ..I’m expecting some guests over
Adventure Mother said,
Excellent post! Love it!
George Serradinho said,
Nice pointers – laughed at point 2 about putting on makeup. I can somehow relate to that
George Serradinho´s last blog ..Cool CSS trick for Thesis
Hicham said,
This is interesting indeed. I think the whole stuff about men and women is something deep in our roots regardless the society.
Anyway Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus but guess what? They are living on Earth
Hicham´s last blog ..Nepeta and Felis Catus
Kim Woodbridge said,
lol at #6. Unfortunately I haven’t got a witty comment this time … I don’t wear make-up anyway and I DO like to do everything myself. But then I’m single so what do I know
Adrenalynn said,
Dave: Oh, right; you’re under the illusion that you’re rugged. Keep telling yourself that, Mr. stay at home mom.
Adrenalynn said,
Lance: LOL, I hope it all went well. Cough.
Dave Fowler said,
Oh, I see. I thought I qualified through being sweaty. :p
Adrenalynn said,
Tara: I’m sorry, what? I was a little preoccupied with the image of Hugh Jackman chopping wood.
Adrenalynn said,
George: LOL! I hope you’re not able to relate TOO much
Adrenalynn said,
Hicham: “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus but guess what? They are living on Earth” Haha, that’s true!
Adrenalynn said,
Kim: Heh, you’re always witty, even when you’re not trying! Or, um, is that a bad thing…? I’m sure everyone’s laughing WITH you, don’t worry.
Adrenalynn said,
Adventure Mother: Thank you
Analeah said,
I think over simplifying any gender is a total waste of time, and often leads people to make wrong decisions.
A real helpful hint: Get to know the person and ask questions. If they can’t be true with themselves or you then move on.
Adrenalynn said,
Analeah: Note: I edited out a cuss word from your comment, because I don’t allow that kind of language on my blog. No hard feelings?
I agree with you! This post was meant to be over-simplified and funny!
Thanks for stopping by!
Blogger Dad said,
I can vouch for Dave Fowler being all man. He smells like warmed over roadkill. MMMM, sexy.
Adrenalynn said,
Well, you’re partly right. But it all comes down to the power tools. When the sweaty man is holding an iron instead of an ax – or even better; a chainsaw (swoon) – it doesn’t quite have the same effect on me. I do wonder why that is. Of course, I’m not talking about your monster iron; that one probably makes you look super hot. I’m sure.
Adrenalynn said,
Blogger Dad: Mm, you paint such a vivid image! The mere thought of that manly scent makes me feel all warm inside.
keekaboo said,
Isn’t ten minutes a bit long? What happened to two effective minutes and then sleepytime?
Kool Aid said,
Found you through Tara on twitter – I love this post! You are so right. Thanks for bringing some enlightenment to the men in our lives.
Adrenalynn said,
Hi Kool Aid! I’ve seen you around – great to finally “meet” you! Thanks for coming by
Adrenalynn said,
Keekaboo; Of course, ten minutes are for beginners. Effectiveness comes with experience!
Hesham said,
Oh.. Yeah!!!
some times I think that women is living a lone for them selves in this world, and some other times I am sure about it!
this is a great funny thing to know about women
Hesham´s last blog ..Zebida Weekly Tweets 2009-06-24
Paige said,
You put this so well! It’s good to know someone out there has guts.
Adrenalynn said,
Hesham: LOL! You’re absolutely right
Adrenalynn said,
Paige: Thanks! I’m glad you think so
Robert said,
… and if this list seems to contradict what you thought you knew about women, see #5.
Adrenalynn said,
Hi Robert; exactly.
Thanks for coming by!
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