What women want

Posted by Adrenalynn on June 24, 2009

For a lot of men, women are a mystery. But fear not! My vast knowledge is hereby at your disposal. So please, help me help you.

I hereby take it upon myself to educate the masses by disproving the following myths about women:

1. We want a man who isn’t afraid to cry.

False. The last thing we want is some crybaby who can’t stop whining. We’ve got enough with our own hormones and emotions, thankyouverymuch; what we need is a man who’s rugged enough to be a real man and fix his own problems already.

2. Women put on makeup and nice clothes to look pretty for men.

False. We want to look better than the other girls so they’ll be jealous. We know that you men are just looking at our chest anyway – no need to spend hours putting makeup on our faces for that!

3. We are all feminists who’ll walk all over you stupid, lousy men to get ahead (grin).

False. Some of us are, though. But mostly we just want to be respected *sob*. And you women who walk all over other people? Not a good way to earn respect. Just saying.

4. We want our men clean and well groomed.

False. Sure, it’s nice if you’ve bothered to shower when you’re meeting our mom for the first time, but there’s nothing hotter than a man who looks like he’s been outdoors chopping wood for the past hour. And smells like it, too.

5. We can be understood, if you just invest enough time and effort.

False. We don’t even understand ourselves, for crying out loud! There’s nothing, absolutely nothing you can do to understand us better. Just give up already and play along with our erratic behavior, and we’ll all be happier.

6. We want sex to last for hours.

False. Apparently 10 minutes is pretty much all we can be bothered with. In fact, it’s even been proven by a study. So, there.

7. We want to be independent and “do it ourselves”.

False. I mean, we could if we wanted to. But we’re way too lazy, so we’d prefer if you just did it. “It” being pretty much any kind of work including but not limited to: cars, computers, electrical appliances, tools and heavy lifting.

8. All we want is a nice guy.

False. There’s a reason why every girl has been in love with at least one bad boy in her lifetime. To us, there’s nothing worse than a pushover. So get with the program and find the bad boy in you!

There you have it! Now, go out into the world, be fruitful and multiply (in 10 minute intervals)!

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Filed Under: Everyday musings, Meaningless information, Outlandishness

Comments: 30 Comments to Read

Dave Fowler said,

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I feel that I now have permission to be myself. Now where’s my chopper, I need some wood.

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Lance said,

I love it! Now…I’m off to chop down that tree. And when I’m all done with that, I should have about 15 minutes left before I have to head out the door…time to get to it, I only have five minutes to spare!! I’m outta here…
Lance´s last blog ..Sunday Thought For The Day

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Tara@Sticky fingers said,

You are so very very wise Adrenalyn.
“but there’s nothing hotter than a man who looks like he’s been outdoors chopping wood for the past hour. And smells like it, too” – and if that man is Hugh Jackman . . .
Oh dear, have come over all peculiar
Tara@Sticky fingers´s last blog ..I’m expecting some guests over

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Adventure Mother said,

Excellent post! Love it!

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George Serradinho said,

Nice pointers – laughed at point 2 about putting on makeup. I can somehow relate to that
George Serradinho´s last blog ..Cool CSS trick for Thesis

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Hicham said,

This is interesting indeed. I think the whole stuff about men and women is something deep in our roots regardless the society.

Anyway Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus but guess what? They are living on Earth
Hicham´s last blog ..Nepeta and Felis Catus

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Kim Woodbridge said,

lol at #6. Unfortunately I haven’t got a witty comment this time … I don’t wear make-up anyway and I DO like to do everything myself. But then I’m single so what do I know

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Adrenalynn said,

Dave: Oh, right; you’re under the illusion that you’re rugged. Keep telling yourself that, Mr. stay at home mom.

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Adrenalynn said,

Lance: LOL, I hope it all went well. Cough.

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Dave Fowler said,

Oh, I see. I thought I qualified through being sweaty. :p

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Adrenalynn said,

Tara: I’m sorry, what? I was a little preoccupied with the image of Hugh Jackman chopping wood.

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Adrenalynn said,

George: LOL! I hope you’re not able to relate TOO much

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Adrenalynn said,

Hicham: “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus but guess what? They are living on Earth” Haha, that’s true!

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Adrenalynn said,

Kim: Heh, you’re always witty, even when you’re not trying! Or, um, is that a bad thing…? I’m sure everyone’s laughing WITH you, don’t worry.

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Adrenalynn said,

Adventure Mother: Thank you

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Analeah said,

I think over simplifying any gender is a total waste of time, and often leads people to make wrong decisions.

A real helpful hint: Get to know the person and ask questions. If they can’t be true with themselves or you then move on.

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Adrenalynn said,

Analeah: Note: I edited out a cuss word from your comment, because I don’t allow that kind of language on my blog. No hard feelings?

I agree with you! This post was meant to be over-simplified and funny! Thanks for stopping by!

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Blogger Dad said,

I can vouch for Dave Fowler being all man. He smells like warmed over roadkill. MMMM, sexy.

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Adrenalynn said,

Well, you’re partly right. But it all comes down to the power tools. When the sweaty man is holding an iron instead of an ax – or even better; a chainsaw (swoon) – it doesn’t quite have the same effect on me. I do wonder why that is. Of course, I’m not talking about your monster iron; that one probably makes you look super hot. I’m sure.

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Adrenalynn said,

Blogger Dad: Mm, you paint such a vivid image! The mere thought of that manly scent makes me feel all warm inside.

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keekaboo said,

Isn’t ten minutes a bit long? What happened to two effective minutes and then sleepytime?

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Kool Aid said,

Found you through Tara on twitter – I love this post! You are so right. Thanks for bringing some enlightenment to the men in our lives.

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Adrenalynn said,

Hi Kool Aid! I’ve seen you around – great to finally “meet” you! Thanks for coming by

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Adrenalynn said,

Keekaboo; Of course, ten minutes are for beginners. Effectiveness comes with experience!

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Hesham said,

Oh.. Yeah!!!
this is a great funny thing to know about women some times I think that women is living a lone for them selves in this world, and some other times I am sure about it!
Hesham´s last blog ..Zebida Weekly Tweets 2009-06-24

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Paige said,

You put this so well! It’s good to know someone out there has guts.

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Adrenalynn said,

Hesham: LOL! You’re absolutely right

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Adrenalynn said,

Paige: Thanks! I’m glad you think so

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Robert said,

… and if this list seems to contradict what you thought you knew about women, see #5.

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Adrenalynn said,

Hi Robert; exactly. Thanks for coming by!

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